There are three basic thinking strategies you can apply to create an internal state of calm, relaxation and focus to maximize your performance. The first is preventive. Practice deep diaphragmatic breathing, slowed movement and a total focus on the present. Focus on every sensation you experience, visual, touch, auditory and smell.

Notice when you wake up in the morning the first thing you do is think about some past or future event. You continue this thinking style as you shower and groom. You likely recite a list of things you must do that day. This thinking drives your nervous system.

Put a writing tablet and pen next to your bed. Tomorrow when you wake up, write down all the things on your mind. Begin deep diaphragmatic breathing. Count your breaths until you have taken ten long, deep breaths. Next, slowly turn back the blanket and sheets. Feel the sensation of both as you slowly turn to get out of bed aware of every sensation as you do. You will be able to do this for 15 to 20 seconds before you have an intrusive thought. Allow the thought to pass and resume your focus on the present. Notice the relaxed calm you feel when you are able to focus for 60 to90 seconds. When you hit a golf shot, you need to be able to focus intently on nothing but the shot for at least 45 seconds.

The second two thinking strategies are reactive. The first technique is called Thought Stopping. When you find yourself at the early stages of anger, simply say to yourself:

"STOP! BE QUIET! SHUT-UP! KNOCK IT OFF!"

Then take 3 or 4 deep breaths and begin the second thought changing technique, Rational Dialogue.

"If I continue to think and behave like this, it isn’t going to change anything to the positive. My mood will deteriorate, and I will be angry and unhappy. I am going to refocus my thinking to the present and leave this behind."

Following a bad shot or bad hole on the golf course as you hear the anger or self abuse in your internal dialogue you might say:

"OK, KNOCK IT OFF! You came here to have a good time. This is a habit you are going to change. If you keep thinking like this you are just going to get worse and worse and have a miserable day, besides the long-term health consequences. Now get off that hole and get into this shot. Breathe deeply. You are holding your breath. Release that tension. Now get into this tee shot and stay focused."

Much of the dialogue players have on the golf course with themselves is self-effacing. You say things to yourself and call yourself names you would never say to anyone else. This dialogue serves to weaken your confidence and feed your anger. There is a simple strategy you can use in your foursome. In my Mind Under Par Golf Schools we have a standing rule: When you call yourself a name during practice or play, that becomes your name for the day. We have had some interesting students attend our schools. It injects humor into the round and makes you more aware of your self-abusive style. Nobody wants to be called "@#*&%^" for the day.

European and PGA Tour player David Feherty says everyone who has success has choked. "Absolutely everyone has done it..." He further states: "It's not what happens to you that matters in the long run. It's your attitude. That's what determines how you cope with the next experience that comes along...Quite often it's how you deal with failure that determines how you achieve success...The mental process is like building a muscle. It's not letting your whole framework of thinking fall down around you. It's having the resolve and mental toughness to take it on the chin, keep your head up, and feel good about yourself for having done that. You can either feel bad because you failed or good because of your positive reactions to it. That will give you the armor to cope with it the next time."